“With the highest honor to all of my teachers, students and friends. I would like to tell you all that I am not interested in experiencing sensations while doing my practice. I’d rather listen to my breath and let my thinking mind concern about what’s happening on the physical level rather than allowing my thinking mind wonder around and take my concentration away which destroy my practice entirely. I would love to experience the real feelings of lost and gratefulness, the real feeling of guilt and forgiveness, the real feelings of sadness and love.”
Feelings are profound and simple. Understanding feelings allow us to learn how to respect ourselves within what we do. This practice also allowing ourselves to understand that each of our life time is precious, so we can spend our life time to benefit ourselves and those who we love.
Unfortunately, no one teach us earlier how to get in touch with our feelings. Instead, most of the people around us and the society teach us to bury the feelings deep down inside our heart in the place far away to reach out. That we must peel-off layers after layers before we can get to the deepest feelings which reveals who we are.
For those who has never done breathing practice or even for those who have done the practice for a long time will find distraction along the practice. This is normal, because the body automatically refuse to experience the feelings (for many reasons). Imagine when you are threaten by a tiger, your body will automatically freeze and closed up. Same within the breathing practice. The healing journey of being open and vulnerable sometimes can be scary and surprising. The only way to get through is by having an open heart and surrender to receive and let go, allow the heart to take the lead.
Distraction happens when the feelings are almost arrive. It comes on different form of sensations. Distraction can manifest in physical sensations like dry mouth, dry tongue, dry throat, stiff neck, stiff jaw, light headed, arise heat or cold, tingle, itchiness, numbness, tremor, pounding chest, and many more; or emotional sensation like feelings relax, feeling “gone somewhere”, feeling nice, etc. Not only this, the thinking mind is very clever (but the heart mind is far more intelligent). The thinking mind will bring new ideas for life or new ideas about concept, or manifesting is different kind of thoughts that will distract your concentration to your breathing.
“To me it’s really interesting. Sometimes I feel like something is crawling on to my arm, but then when I open my eyes there is nothing on my arm. The body is super intelligent.”
The body struggle so much not to let the feelings happen, because the body knows that it will be painful. The body knows that it will be hurt. The body knows that before the release happen, it has to get through the crisis of profound confusion, painful moments that makes it not wanting to allow the feelings to arise.
Quoting from my good friend, “Just before the release happen my neck was so stiff, the back part of my legs was so painful. It feels like I just finish with a hardcore Ashtanga class. But then, the release happened and I cried so deeply. At that moment the pain is all gone.” – Lilik Manuaba.
When dealing with distraction, it is all about your intention. What do you want from your practice? That is what you will get from your practice.