Being Vulnerable

“When I finally surrender, I don’t have to fight anymore. People who loves me stay close with me, and those who hurt me stay away.”

Being vulnerable is not only about being susceptible to physical or emotional attacks (harm). It is more about being strong to surrender to the destiny. Being vulnerable is not only about needing a special care or support or protection due to age, disability or risk to be abused or neglected. It is more about being brave to make decision and commit to do our best in this life, with full intention to fulfill the desire to become content, and continuously finding out and learning from mistakes.

Being vulnerable is the only thing that we can do for ourselves, to surrender and stop fighting for a little bit (at this moment). Being vulnerable is when we are continuously making efforts to be our best, but at the same time accepting whatever comes and consciously being grateful for what we have had.

Being vulnerable is accepting that everyone’s life have purpose and meaning differently. Being vulnerable is accepting that sometimes things are not always goes the way we want. Being vulnerable is accepting life as what is.

Sometimes I wish it’s easy to do all these things. We shall keep learning from life to be vulnerable.

 

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My Self-Awareness

The value (worthy) that we give to ourselves is reflected on the behavior of our act towards others. And that is how people perceive us as a whole.

Self aware is not only about our appearance. But, it is more about being mindful of what we do especially towards other and ourselves as well. Continuously watching our behavior. How we talk, how we respond to others, how we give feedback. Does our attitude “polite enough” that it can be accepted by the heart of the consciousness?

When we are mindful of ourselves, the way we speak touch other people’s heart. The way we look at their eyes feel each of their breath and bring deeper connection with them. They way we touch, teach them how to be vulnerable. And it is not easy to act this way. Because in order to be able to act this way, we need to approach ourselves first. Be honest and polite to ourselves and commit to be continuously taking care of ourselves.

Honesty is probably the hardest task in this life. Because when we are honest (to ourselves), we will see the horrible things that hurts us most and created that pain again. But, there in no way out anyway. The only way to understand the pain is to face it once again, feel it and accept it. That it is already happen.

And our body such an intelligent vehicle. The body will give signs (of sickness) when the feeling is getting to much. Selfishness cause to the illness in the stomach area, sadness cause to the illness in the chest area, fear cause to the illness on the kidney, bladder and hamstring, hatred or envy create illness in the heart organ and rage create the illness in the liver organ. This knowledge is based on the teaching of Cosmology and the meridian line of Chinese medicine, both science have been used to cure many types of illness for many years.

Once of my good friend told me that he just got bronchitis problem, and this illness caused him cough so much. And then I asked him if he wanted to do some breath work, I will be happy to assist. His answer was “Not now..” I know for fact that he knew, this process is going to be painful. The breath will show him what actually cause his sickness, and in the mean time he doesn’t want to know about it. I said, “I’ll be here when you are ready.”

 

OUR NEXT PRACTICE: HEALING BREATH SEMI-PRIVATE CLASS 13 APRIL 2017, LIMITED TO 4 PARTICIPANTS ONLY!

Chat with me: skype:wijayav | wechat: viayogabali | whatsapp: +628176881511 | via.wijaya@gmail.com | FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/pg/healingbreathbali

Open Class March 2017

“I have learned that is only through courage, we can all find that profound space within us.”

The healing journey has become even deeper nowadays. Most participants reached out their feelings and started to understand “the pain”. Sometimes (in fact most of the time), this is not the most beautiful place to visit. Yet, only by understanding it, allowing it to happen and accept that it has happened, it only can be released.

The battle with the fabricated mind is still on! See you in April.

Chat with me: skype: wijayav | instagram: @viawijaya.yoga | whatsapp: +628176881511 | via.wijaya@gmail.com | facebook: https://www.facebook.com/viawijaya.yoga

Healing Breath Weekend Retreat

Most of our trauma happens at the time that we have forgotten. Each of the memory carries different feelings that is so painful as we don’t want to see it anymore. Our brain has erased the memory to prevent the body to experience it in the future. However, as the mind has forgotten, the body remembers. Each of that trauma has been stored in the muscle. The pain has been stored in the body. So we don’t have other choice, so we all suffer.

The experience that cause our suffering has happened, but we don’t have to suffer all the time. The only way to be free to this suffering is to release and let go of that pain by understanding the feelings. This way we can make each time as precious as it should be, this way we can prevent the suffering to be repeated by us or by others.

Healing Breath Weekend Retreat is a two days healing programs, maximal 10 participants. the programs are including asana practice, breath work, mentoring and detox program. This program will be held at our wellness center Yoga Umah Shakti in Sanur. The overall agenda of the retreat include:

DAY #1

07.00 – 08.30 : Asana Class (Gentle Hatha Practice)

08.30 – 09.00 : Healthy Breakfast

09:00 – 12.00 : Healing Breath Class (breath work)

12.00 – 12.30 : Silent Meditation

12.30 – 14.00 : Healthy Lunch

14.00 – 16.00 : Workshop (Understanding Trauma, Feelings and Emotions)

16.00 – 18.00 : Healing Breath Trauma Release Exercise

18.00 – 19.00 : Sound Healing with Mantra

19.00 – 19.30 : Closing Day #1

DAY #2

07.00 – 08.30 : Asana Class (Gentle Vinyasa Practice)

08.30 – 09.00 : Healthy Breakfast

09:00 – 12.00 : Healing Breath Class (breath work)

12.00 – 12.30 : Silent Meditation

12.30 – 14.00 : Healthy Lunch

14.00 – 16.00 : Workshop (About Meditation and Freedom)

16.00 – 18.00 : Healing Breath (breath work)

18.00 – 19.00 : Awakening and Closing Day #2

*Agenda can be changed anytime.

 

Contact us to sign up for the next retreat.

Chat with me: skype: wijayav | instagram: @viawijaya.yoga | whatsapp: +628176881511 | via.wijaya@gmail.com | facebook: https://www.facebook.com/viawijaya.yoga

 

Ignorance

“In this difficult days when each morning filled with heart broken and each evening filled with confusion and anxiety. Why unfortunate things happen to me? Why people hurt my feelings and not realize doing it? What did I do wrong?”

We are all suffering in this life. But what is the greatest suffering can happen to us? We suffer from lacking money; suffer from unhappy relationship; suffer from physical diseases; we suffer from attachment on to something; we suffer from wanting and grasping more and more..  To me, the greatest suffering is: not knowing that we are suffering. This all comes down to the behavior pattern of ignorance.

In most cases, people are afraid that they will lose the opportunity to get more money, so then they work every single day to make sure they catch all potential opportunity to get money. Ignoring the fact that they need to rest and they need to make time for themselves. Ignoring the fact that the body needs to take a pause. I would rather choose to be able to take a pause and then work efficiently.

Most problem that happen in many generation is that: we all repeat the same life pattern that has happened before us. Including all mistakes and difficulties. Unfortunately, most of us not aware about this because we are too busy with our daily activities. We are too busy with our anxiety and worry, we are too busy avoiding or denying our life. So that we don’t even have time to take care of ourselves and understand what is actually going on here?

It is all mostly easy to say, but hard to do.

Chat with me: skype: wijayav | instagram: @viawijaya.yoga | whatsapp: +628176881511 | via.wijaya@gmail.com | facebook: https://www.facebook.com/viawijaya.yoga

 

 

Emotions VS Feelings

What is the different between emotions and feelings? Emotions (E-motions) is some kind of fast moved reaction/ immediate feedback to a situation. For example, your lips will say, “Ouch!” when you accidentally hit your finger with a hammer. Or you may shout to a person who accidentally step on your toes. While feelings are hidden down deep in the heart, and it is only sometimes can be felt through a realization and understanding, normally comes up after a deep contemplation or with the help through breathwork. Feelings are very private, while emotions are more common.

“Feelings is the bottom of the ocean, and emotions is the surface part of a wavy tide.”

In my understanding, feelings are built up from emotional experiences or planted by a traumatic situation. A person who has lost their parents or has lost the person they loved so much may experience deep grief and sadness. A child who has experienced childhood abuse may have feelings of deep insecurity and fear. Unfortunately, our behavior are based on these feelings. A child who has experience abusive contact from their parents may become an abusive person in their adulthood, and without realizing it they hurt other people. It is because this child has deep fear, insecurity and anger. A person who has deep grief may become a sad person and feel their life is not worth it and experience sadness, anxiety and worry in their daily basis.

Generally people hurt other people, because they are hurt inside. But, most of us don’t realize this. We have learned to avoid feeling the pain. We have learned not to admit the pain that we have. For many reason, mostly because other will judge us, we hide our pain in a sacred place. We are so afraid if other people will find out about our pain. We feel embarrassed having pain, and feel shame if other find out.

Take sadness for example, have you felt sadness before? Do you have sadness? How does it feel? Can you describe it?

Note: On our breathing practice, we categorize emotions as a form of distraction. It is similar to physical/ emotional sensations.

 

Chat with me: skype: wijayav | instagram: @viawijaya.yoga | whatsapp: +628176881511 | via.wijaya@gmail.com | facebook: https://www.facebook.com/viawijaya.yoga

 

Distraction

“With the highest honor to all of my teachers, students and friends. I would like to tell you all that I am not interested in experiencing sensations while doing my practice. I’d rather listen to my breath and let my thinking mind concern about what’s happening on the physical level rather than allowing my thinking mind wonder around and take my concentration away which destroy my practice entirely. I would love to experience the real feelings of lost and gratefulness, the real feeling of guilt and forgiveness, the real feelings of sadness and love.”

Feelings are profound and simple. Understanding feelings allow us to learn how to respect ourselves within what we do. This practice also allowing ourselves to understand that each of our life time is precious, so we can spend our life time to benefit ourselves and those who we love.

Unfortunately, no one teach us earlier how to get in touch with our feelings. Instead, most of the people around us and the society teach us to bury the feelings deep down inside our heart in the place far away to reach out. That we must peel-off layers after layers before we can get to the deepest feelings which reveals who we are.

For those who has never done breathing practice or even for those who have done the practice for a long time will find distraction along the practice. This is normal, because the body automatically refuse to experience the feelings (for many reasons). Imagine when you are threaten by a tiger, your body will automatically freeze and closed up. Same within the breathing practice. The healing journey of being open and vulnerable sometimes can be scary and surprising. The only way to get through is by having an open heart and surrender to receive and let go, allow the heart to take the lead.

Distraction happens when the feelings are almost arrive. It comes on different form of sensations. Distraction can manifest in physical sensations like dry mouth, dry tongue, dry throat, stiff neck, stiff jaw, light headed, arise heat or cold, tingle, itchiness, numbness, tremor, pounding chest, and many more; or emotional sensation like feelings relax, feeling “gone somewhere”, feeling nice, etc. Not only this, the thinking mind is very clever (but the heart mind is far more intelligent). The thinking mind will bring new ideas for life or new ideas about concept, or manifesting is different kind of thoughts that will distract your concentration to your breathing.

“To me it’s really interesting. Sometimes I feel like something is crawling on to my arm, but then when I open my eyes there is nothing on my arm. The body is super intelligent.”

The body struggle so much not to let the feelings happen, because the body knows that it will be painful. The body knows that it will be hurt. The body knows that before the release happen, it has to get through the crisis of profound confusion, painful moments that makes it not wanting to allow the feelings to arise.

Quoting from my good friend, “Just before the release happen my neck was so stiff, the back part of my legs was so painful. It feels like I just finish with a hardcore Ashtanga class. But then, the release happened and I cried so deeply. At that moment the pain is all gone.” – Lilik Manuaba.

When dealing with distraction, it is all about your intention. What do you want from your practice? That is what you will get from your practice.

Chat with me: skype: wijayav | instagram: @viawijaya.yoga | whatsapp: +628176881511 | via.wijaya@gmail.com | facebook: https://www.facebook.com/viawijaya.yoga